Things I Tell My Wife by Matt Knutson

“You’re crying again,” I told my wife in a mostly unhelpful way. When someone is crying at everything, it becomes a little harder to be sympathetic. I’ve been trying to be supportive, but at some point, you’ve just got to admit defeat. Sera is a crier, and she always will be – especially when she’s pregnant.

Yes, we’re expecting another little one to be joining our family this fall. Gracelyn is nearing a year and a half in age, and she blissfully has little clue what fun awaits her. We’ve received two “big sister” books, which she enjoys reading, and she’s mastered patting my wife’s stomach while saying “Baby!” quite authoritatively, but of course she’s far too little to know the real implications of no longer being the baby in the family.

Just thinking about Gracelyn no longer being the baby has Sera tearing up. It’s one of the pregnancy side effects she experienced with Gracelyn, and it has undoubtedly returned this time around. The tears have been tamed for the past few days, but I thought I might share some of the reasons why my wife has been crying. This is not a comprehensive list, but it does span several weeks.

We’ll start off chronologically, where my dear Sera was crying over a grilled cheese sandwich. If we hadn’t known she was pregnant then, it would have been a telltale sign. This would fall under the crying category of cravings. I’m sure we were already in bed when she decided she wanted a grilled cheese sandwich. Whether I made it for her or not, the concept of the sandwich was enough to turn on the waterworks. Also included in this food-based category would be Chipotle, gluten-free bread, not having bananas for her morning cereal. I realize that last one seems like Sera might be high maintenance, but I assure you those tears were coming from a pure place.

Sera’s pregnancies often result in her caring far too much about things out of her control. She’s crying because she thinks Gracelyn might miss her at day care. At one point she saw a fire truck and cried thinking about an unknown family that might have lost their home from a fire at some point. (The truck didn’t even have its lights on. It was parked at the fire station.) Then there was the time where my wife simple saw an old many walking outside and was able to envision a sad story as to why he was walking alone.

Occasionally, Sera would cry for something that other people could potentially be crying about. She cried when she saw a video of a newborn baby, and that was probably adorable. While watching the Oscars, a few tears were shed when Zootopia beat out Moana. I’ve instituted a temporary ban on watching the television show “This is Us,” as each episode requires tissues for a much broader audience than pregnant women. In these instances, crying may be acceptable, but Sera’s one-upping her peers by the duration of her tears.

Some of my favorite times that I’ve caught Sera crying include when I unloaded the dishwasher and when I got us Chinese for lunch. These ordinary activities suddenly morphed into over-the-top gestures that made me look like super husband. While watching the Oscars (she was already a bit raw from the Moana loss), my wife began crying again when I verified that I would in fact attend the award show as her date if she would ever be nominated.

With tears slowly streaming down her cheeks, she often denied that she was crying at all in these circumstances. I’m not sure what that denial served her, but if it made her feel better, who am I to question it? The tipping point of this emotional rollercoaster came when Sera began crying because she realized she was being emotional due to her pregnancy. It’s been several weeks of practicing patience, sharing encouraging words and drying tears. Thankfully, this new little one is doing well. Now, if anyone could explain why Gracelyn is crying all the time, we might once again return to a peaceful household. Although I’m not sure if you ever can have a peaceful household when the future holds two children under 2 years old. I guess I should start aiming for joyful and boisterous instead.

Matt Knutson is a communications specialist in Rochester.