Something About Nothing by Julie Seedorf

I remember the telephone number of my dad’s shoe store; it was 508. I would give the number to the operator and she would chat with me for a few minutes before she connected me to the store. I remember long-distance calls were more difficult to make than they are today and there were no phone calls to relatives in other countries that we could make or at least could afford. You were charged by the minute for long-distance calls. And let’s not forget we shared the line with other neighbors so we couldn’t talk long, and we were careful what we said because others might be listening in.

We lived in town but in the country at my grandma’s house you had to listen carefully to the ring to see if it was your ring. Your telephone ring might have consisted of a long, a short and a long ring or a few short rings. That was the only way my grandma knew if she had a call.

And gasp — as a teenager we had to share the one phone in our house with our parents.

I remember in my early married days looking forward with anticipation to the day when we didn’t have to share a party line anymore. That was progress. However, we didn’t have caller ID, so we had to answer the phone because we didn’t know who was calling or which person in the household the call was for.

Let’s flash forward to today when I wanted to throw my home phone into the wall because of the robocalls and telemarketers and scammers. Yes, I still have a line phone because it is part of my cable package, and it is cheaper to keep it than to get rid of it.

The other day my hometown city hall called me, at least that is what it said on the screen. I answered, and I was sure city hall was not asking me to listen to a pitch about another credit card rate. One day, I saw I was calling myself. I answered to see what I had to say. Apparently, I wanted to tell myself I wanted more life insurance.

And then there are the calls from all the people who want to know me who live in Maine, Gaylord, Hastings, New York City and San Francisco, California. They are all very anxious to get in touch with me.

A few months ago I thought the calls had stopped because the phone didn’t ring for days. But it was a glitch, my phone service was down and I didn’t even notice it because we don’t use that phone.

The block button is getting a workout. I hope it doesn’t get tired and retire. Blowing a whistle in the caller’s ear doesn’t work either because I don’t think the computer at the other end is bothered by the loud sound. As a consumer I am paying for a service for the scammers and telemarketers to use.

It doesn’t help to complain to our telephone providers because they tell us there is nothing they can do. Many of the scammers are overseas and do not have regulations. It doesn’t help to complain to our congressman because they have bigger things to not agree about such as Russia, health care, tax breaks and gun legislation or specifically in Minnesota banning Bachelor Arie Luyendyk Jr. from visiting Minnesota. If the Minnesota state representative introducing the bill to ban Arie has time for such a frivolous bill, maybe we can get him to work on something more meaningful such as our telephone issues.  I have to believe our political representatives do not have to bother with the pesky phone calls from scammers and telemarketers at their homes and offices because they either have someone answering the phone or maybe they have means to block them that we don’t know about. I feel if those who are making the laws had to deal with the irritating phone problem of calls from their friends that aren’t really calls from their friends, they would do something. It would affect them.

I also can’t believe in the world of technology that we live in today that telecommunications companies can’t find a way to stop this if they were really motivated to do so. If it doesn’t make them money, perhaps they don’t care about a solution. I am just throwing that out there.

These calls also affect our cellphones, and we hear the same excuses from the companies who host our plans. It is too bad we can’t redirect all these calls to an office of our providers or our congressman. I am sure if we all could do that, there would be a will and there would be a way to have them stopped.

In the meantime, if you call me on my home phone, leave a message. I don’t know you by your name.

Wells resident Julie Seedorf’s column appears every Monday. Send email to her at hermionyvidaliabooks@gmail.com.