Something About Nothing by Julie Seedorf

December and January were challenging months for me. I caught the crud Thanksgiving Day, and it continued through December. My best friend died the last day in December. I launched a new book and add Christmas festivities, and by January I wanted to drop out of the world. Not physically but mentally. I couldn’t handle the challenges of the rhetoric of the outside world.

I told my family and friends I was retreating for a short time to recharge. I took time to read, meditate, listen to music and keep up with some of the social media, but I stayed away from spouting my opinion too much. During this time I came to the conclusion that I didn’t need to get involved in trying to change opinions about politics, and I certainly didn’t know anything about anything so I needed to quit being a person that always tried to fix things whether they needed fixing or not. I was going to continue seeking a permanent solution for my anxiety because I didn’t want to make snap decisions out of fear anymore.

The past few weeks I felt myself waking up again, recharged and ready to somewhat enter the world again. And then the shooting happened at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. At first it was horror that this could be happening again. I then found I had a small connection to the shooting. A good friend who lives 10 minutes from the school informed me one of the boys killed in the shooting was a friend of her daughters. She shared her experience being a teacher in another school and the reality of living in this situation. This made it more real and not just another story on the television.

The debate about gun control started. But in my new calm I decided nothing I would say or do would make a difference.

As the weeks went by, I tuned in to the Save Our Hospital website and saw the struggle the community of Albert Lea is going through to keep services, along with the struggle of people who could not be treated until they coughed up some money to pay their deductibles before the treatment or test. They didn’t have the money, so there would be no tests or treatment for their illness.

At another corner of the world, another friend lost coverage for a prescription she had been on for the past 10 years for her illness. There was no alternative and the prescription service now was denying it because the policy had changed. I noted it was the same prescription service I have. Her doctors were trying, but every time it was denied. She was scared.

Then I broke my new rule and got embroiled in a conversation about politics, namely a conversation about our president. To make a long story short, the ones who were pro explained they were staunch Christians and his morals about race, women and the divisive things coming out of his mouth didn’t matter because he was a devout Christian and he was forgiven. What mattered was that he was a very good businessman, and it was that and the money that mattered. At that point I knew I had to pull back in my cocoon because I knew we came from different worlds and would never understand one another no matter how we tried. These people were entitled to their opinion too.

I was about to build my cocoon when I heard about the $84 million deal that the Vikings offered Kirk Cousins. I was astounded as to the sum of money he was offered. The same disbelief applied to what the candidates spent on the special election in Pennsylvania and also to Mayo making millions in profits. I read posts about school districts going broke, nursing homes cutting back on workers because of not being able to pay them, and the low pay of many workers. Other headlines blared about social services being cut for the poor and the homeless. And I was sad because it was glaringly clear we value the glitz and glamour and money over human lives in this country.

I wanted my zen back. I wanted to step back away from the world. I wanted to be silent because I was tired of the backlash of speaking out and standing up for what I believe in. And then something amazing happened — the students in Florida stood up for what they believe in and other students throughout the United States followed them, and it gave me hope for a brighter future for them. It reminded me of growing up in the ’60s and standing up against the Vietnam War and the activism that was triggered then and is being triggered now.

I believe in theses teenagers. They are a smart generation. After all, they have had to live through things many my age did not. They have lived through a generation of broken homes, the uncertainty of safety in schools, racial violence not unlike the ’60s but more vocal because of social media and an atmosphere of bullying, lack of food for many and also an uptake in homelessness for children. They know the disparity between rich and poor because it is growing. They know the lack of safety in neighborhoods and are taught the dangers of our society today. They live it, so who better to stand up for a different way of life today.

And we, as adults, should stand with them. We support sports teams where salaries are out of control and are valued more than teachers and healthcare workers. We support “an end justifies” the means mentality when it comes to politics, and we don’t ask for our officials to be accountable in the way we have to be accountable. We make excuses and blame others, but if we sit back and are silent the way I want to be so I can be more peaceful, we, too, are to blame. We don’t make it easy for those who have less but are qualified to make it to the top to lead, and so we settle for what we have now. I have heard it often, the lesser of two evils. Why can’t we have the lesser of two goods? Because we have given up because money speaks and if we don’t have any our voices are not heard.

Our world is topsy-turvy and out of control, but these brave kids are out there fighting for their right to have a better life in this world. We as adults can’t seem to get the job done because we are right fighters and can’t agree. We need to stand behind them, come out of our cocoons as common everyday people and help them so they don’t give up. If we already have what happens to them?

Added note: As I was about to send this to the paper I got a message from my teacher friend in Florida. Her school was on lockdown all day with kids and teachers barricaded in and hiding in the dark not being able to go to the bathroom or even eat. Her school was minutes away from the Marjory Stoneman Douglas School. It was an active threat and a person was seen on campus with a weapon, an AR-15. This didn’t make big headlines because it is just another day in the life our schools in 2018, and no one got shot. If we give up what happens to our children?

Wells resident Julie Seedorf’s column appears every Monday. Send email to her at hermionyvidaliabooks@gmail.com.