All through her life, Marguerite Parker had an idea of how things should be.

She worked hard, as a widow, to raise her two children by taking care of others. When she remarried, she was a quiet leader behind her husband, Clarence.

“She was always very proper,” said her daughter, Mary Onken.

Parker also knew that when the time came for her to go into a nursing home, she wanted to go to Thorne Crest Retirement Community.

“She made me take a tour here,” Onken said. “A number of her patients had come here and she knew they were treated well.”

About 6 1/2 years ago, Parker had a series of mini-strokes, which took her short-term memory. It was then that her family arranged to move her to Thorne Crest.

She was happy there, said her son, Larry Jensen. About a year ago, however, she began to experience gall bladder trouble. A trip to the emergency room revealed tumors. The doctor gave her one to three months to live, and the family was referred to Crossroads Community Hospice.

Hospice is a type of care designed to meet the special physical, spiritual and psychosocial needs of patients and families affected by a terminal illness. Care focuses on helping the patient live as fully and comfortably as possible. A team of trained professionals — physicians, nurses, counselors, therapists, aides and volunteers — provides medical care and support services to manage symptoms so that the patient’s last days may be spent with dignity and quality at home or in a home-like setting. Families are offered bereavement support for a year after a patient’s death.

With hospice, Parker, now 91, didn’t have to leave Thorne Crest. The patient’s care is still directed by a physician. Through care conferences, hospice is able to advocate for what’s best for the patient, said Jackie Carstens, Crossroads Community Hospice’s social worker.

“Hospice doesn’t take over the primary care in a nursing home, but it’s like having a second opinion all the time,” Carstens said.

A hospice nurse checks Parker’s vital signs and visits with her twice a week. She then calls Jensen and Onken and gives them a report on their mother.

Onken resides in Windom, so the calls are especially valuable to her. “If we’re not there, they leave a voice mail so I always know how Mom is doing,” she said.

Even though Jensen lives in Albert Lea and visits his mother twice a week, the calls mean a lot to him, too.

“Everybody’s lifestyle today is so busy,” he said. “It’s really nice to have hospice people checking for us.”

When Onken mentioned that her mother’s hair wasn’t getting shampooed and styled as she always liked it because of the pain she was in, hospice found a way to get it done.

“The way her hair looked was always very important to her,” Onken said.

Parker was assigned a hospice aide, Ruth Lillibridge, who comes in once a week to help in a supportive role. On a typical visit, she’ll help Parker with personal care, give her massages and roll her wheelchair to the dining room and assist her in getting started with her dinner.

Lillibridge actually worked at Thorne Crest as an aide and before that, had worked for Freeborn County Public Health. When she took time off from her job at Thorne Crest to care for her brother who had cancer, she learned more about hospice and eventually went to work there.

While she admits it’s not easy knowing a patient she’s grown close to won’t be with her much longer, she takes comfort in knowing she’s helped a patient become more comfortable for a time, she said.

Hospice also assigns a volunteer to visit with patients. In Parker’s case, it’s Pauline Hall. Hall was actually Crossroads Community Hospice’s first volunteer when the program was begun 23 years ago. She had been working as secretary to the director of nursing at Naeve Hospital and when the program was organized, she jumped in to help, too.

“Of the 40 people who initially signed up to be volunteers, 24 made it through the training and actually became volunteers,” Hall said.

It’s rewarding work, she said. “It’s a privilege to be with people at this stage of their lives,” Hall added.

Crossroads Community Hospice, in cooperation with Albert Lea Medical Center, invites area residents to “Set Memories Aglow” this holiday season by donating money toward a light on the special hospice tree on the Albert Lea Medical Center campus in memory of a loved one, friend or for someone living they wish to honor.

Crossroads Community Hospice staff and volunteers will be at the following locations this month with donation form envelopes:

Nov. 19: Hy-Vee, 8:30 to 11 a.m.

Nov. 26: HealthReach, 8:30 to 11 a.m.

Donation form envelopes will be available at the Albert Lea Medical Center Pharmacy and Gift Shop, Alden Clinic, Kiester Clinic, Lake Mills Clinic, New Richland Clinic, Wells Clinic, KATE Radio, and Power 96.

A tree lighting ceremony will be held at 5 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 7, on the front drive of Albert Lea Medical Center. The tree will remain lit through the holiday season.

Hall’s own mother is only a few doors down from Parker’s at Thorne Crest, so she is able to drop by and say hello on the days she doesn’t have scheduled time with her.

Hall talks with Parker and massages her hands — something Parker did for her own patients years ago and really enjoys.

“She’s just very pleasant and comfortable and never complains,” Hall said of Parker.

“It’s so good for Mom to have that interaction,” Jensen said.

Onken said she felt a lot more stressed before hospice entered their lives.

“It’s a real comfort to us,” she said.