Al, Author at Albert Lea Tribune

Columnists

Al Batt: Nothing says ‘Merry Christmas’ like saying ‘Merry Christmas’

What child doesn’t love a tube of lip balm for Christmas? Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, December 17, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Noses are red, fingers are blue. I like winter, how about you?

The wind blew another partridge out of a pear tree. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, December 10, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Four things you shouldn’t spend any time worrying about

You have enough things to worry about. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, December 3, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: I’m grateful for Gary Gravy, the inventor of gravy

The city’s water tower held gravy. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, November 26, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Make yourself useful and put on a coat of arms

My great-grandfather bellowed, “Buckle up.” Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, November 19, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Thistlebottom’s Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom moment

There are legions of famous Minnesotans, and that includes you. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, November 12, 2024 2:27 pm

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Al Batt: Ripening in an Oklahoma fast-food drive-thru

“Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the plain, and the waving wheat can sure smell sweet, when the wind comes right behind the rain. ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, November 5, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Prehistoric gummy bears chewed gum while hibernating

A kid offered me some Big League Chew bubble gum. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, October 29, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: It rained tiny Halloween pumpkins that bit me

There was something in the air. I was trying to weave my day into a seamless garment when a strange wind blew. Something was bugging ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, October 15, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Fall is the time to schedule a pumpkin spice colonoscopy

I saw a grizzly bear caterpillar. It’s going to be a brutal winter. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, October 8, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: My buttonholes were due for a major upgrade

We could all use an upgrade. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, October 1, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Posting a plethora of permeating picture postcards posthaste

I send picture postcards. Why? Do I think it solves all the world’s problems? No, it’s because I enjoy sending picture postcards. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, September 24, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Hoping for no Buick Bisons or Lincoln Lemmings on 494

I wasn’t shuffling off to Buffalo. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, September 17, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Outgrabe, Irish wristwatch, headbutting while texting and pilfering seagulls

I tried to say, “Irish wristwatch” three times quickly. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, September 10, 2024 8:45 pm

Columnists

Al Batt: It’s better to have a landline than a land mine these days

I swallowed a mosquito. I’m an adventurous eater. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, September 3, 2024 8:45 pm

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