Al, Author at Albert Lea Tribune

Columnists

Al Batt: Make yourself useful and put on a coat of arms

My great-grandfather bellowed, “Buckle up.” Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, November 19, 2024 8:45 pm

Columnists

Al Batt: Thistlebottom’s Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom moment

There are legions of famous Minnesotans, and that includes you. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, November 12, 2024 2:27 pm

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Al Batt: Ripening in an Oklahoma fast-food drive-thru

“Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the plain, and the waving wheat can sure smell sweet, when the wind comes right behind the rain. ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, November 5, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Prehistoric gummy bears chewed gum while hibernating

A kid offered me some Big League Chew bubble gum. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, October 29, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: It rained tiny Halloween pumpkins that bit me

There was something in the air. I was trying to weave my day into a seamless garment when a strange wind blew. Something was bugging ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, October 15, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Fall is the time to schedule a pumpkin spice colonoscopy

I saw a grizzly bear caterpillar. It’s going to be a brutal winter. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, October 8, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: My buttonholes were due for a major upgrade

We could all use an upgrade. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, October 1, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Posting a plethora of permeating picture postcards posthaste

I send picture postcards. Why? Do I think it solves all the world’s problems? No, it’s because I enjoy sending picture postcards. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, September 24, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Hoping for no Buick Bisons or Lincoln Lemmings on 494

I wasn’t shuffling off to Buffalo. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, September 17, 2024 8:45 pm

Columnists

Al Batt: Outgrabe, Irish wristwatch, headbutting while texting and pilfering seagulls

I tried to say, “Irish wristwatch” three times quickly. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, September 10, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: It’s better to have a landline than a land mine these days

I swallowed a mosquito. I’m an adventurous eater. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, September 3, 2024 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Last winter had been peaked, puny and downsized

The air carried the scent of a dirty athletic sock that had been microwaved. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, August 27, 2024 8:45 pm

Columnists

Al Batt: Let the good times roll—Toilet Paper Day is Aug. 26

It’s an August sublime. I’m still eating sweet corn, and the Minnesota Twins are still in the running. I recall a Luther League trip to ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, August 20, 2024 8:45 pm

Columnists

Al Batt: It was the first time a hush fell over that crowd

A cat owns my wife and me. We have three litter boxes because cats are territorial about those things. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, August 13, 2024 8:45 pm

Columnists

Al Batt: The best used by date is today; don’t take anyone for granted

I hadn’t heard from him since he went off to college at the South Dakota School of Mimes. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, August 6, 2024 8:45 pm

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