Tales From Exit 22

Al Batt: Where’s a Sears Big Book when you need one?

I threw a boomerang three years ago, and I’ve lived in fear ever since. Each time I step outside, I expect to be conked on the ... Read more

24 hours ago by Al Batt.

Al Batt: I’m washing my hands while writing this

I’m trying to enjoy myself while social distancing. I’ve nowhere to go but where I am. COVID-19 has become those ubiquitous orange barrels closing lanes. I’ve ... Read more

1 week ago by Al Batt.

Al Batt: The story of my first and only wife, Gail, and me

I was at that age where men believe their own mythology and the barbershop’s broom had a part in the middle. Gail and I were young, ... Read more

2 weeks ago by Al Batt.

Al Batt: When squirrels chatter more than our teeth

I greeted the day with a sneeze. Sneezing is a part of my skill set. I’d walked outside and experienced a photic sneeze reflex, sun sneeze or ... Read more

3 weeks ago by Al Batt.

Al Batt: Can you believe it, there is a toe in my drink!

Tales from Exit 22 by Al Batt “I might have accidentally kissed a toe.” I wasn’t watching a documentary on toe jam. It was said ... Read more

4 weeks ago by Al Batt.

Al Batt: Elvis owned a classic Cadillac station wagon

A hood was raised. That’s rarely a good thing on a car or a hooded sweatshirt. At a car show it’s fine, but a raised hoodie ... Read more

1 month ago by Al Batt.

Al Batt: I wasn’t shoveling sunshine this winter

I might make June my primary snow-removal system. It’d be easier than shoveling. Read more

1 month ago by Al Batt.

Al Batt: Follow your dreams and dream of sleeping

Just five minutes more. If you are the average, above-average American, that’s how much more sleep you need. For some, the hardest part of each day is ... Read more

2 months ago by Al Batt.

Al Batt: Chew each bite 32,847 times to live longer

Never yell “Food fight!” on soup day in school. I thought of that lesson I’d learned in junior high as I tossed a couple of cans ... Read more

2 months ago by Al Batt.

Al Batt: Sometimes attitude is all we can control

“I hate to complain about anything, but I love complaining about everything.” You hear things like that when the local Pessimist Club meets. The members are ... Read more

2 months ago by Al Batt.

Al Batt: Happiness is having a warm head in the cold

I had just escaped the clutches of a colossal cold. Once defrosted, I headed to a gig at a fine Minnesota college where I’d decided to ... Read more

3 months ago by Al Batt.

Al Batt: A fathead like me should never get a head cold

I wanted to shuffle my way far from the maddening cold. I’d spent an inordinate amount of time among the sneezing, sniffling, coughing and nose-blowing people ... Read more

3 months ago by Al Batt.

Al Batt: Swami, how I love you, how I love you so

My doorbell rang. I opened the door and a robed visitor accompanied by sitar music walked in out of the dimming twilight. The renowned mystic from ... Read more

3 months ago by Al Batt.

Al Batt: Say it ain’t snow —winter is technically here

It’s another beautiful 60°. Indoors. It has become that time of the year when it always feels as if someone has left a door open. It’s ... Read more

3 months ago by Al Batt.

Al Batt: Be in the present this Christmas like a cat

“Aisle do it! I said that because someone had to run to the store to get a couple of things. I was that designated someone to ... Read more

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