Opinion
Al Batt: Last winter had been peaked, puny and downsized
The air carried the scent of a dirty athletic sock that had been microwaved.
Opinion
Al Batt: Let the good times roll—Toilet Paper Day is Aug. 26
It’s an August sublime. I’m still eating sweet corn, and the Minnesota Twins are still in the running. ...
Opinion
Al Batt: It was the first time a hush fell over that crowd
A cat owns my wife and me. We have three litter boxes because cats are territorial about those ...
Opinion
Al Batt: The best used by date is today; don’t take anyone for granted
I hadn’t heard from him since he went off to college at the South Dakota School of Mimes.
Opinion
Al Batt: A driver wearing only one mitten might be lost
Technically, nothing is lost until I stop looking for it.
Opinion
Al Batt: Visit the upcoming county fair and pick up a few calories
The Inuit have 50 names for snow cones.
Opinion
Al Batt: The raspy whisper of hoarse radish called to me
I’m an apex predator hunting for radishes, vital ingredients in a radish sandwich.
Opinion
Al Batt: I love the smell of wet squirrels in the morning
I couldn’t see a sun in the sky. It had either overslept or clouds covered it.
Opinion
Al Batt: I’ve been to about half of everywhere, man
The water hit like thousands of tiny bricks being flung at me with incredible accuracy. I was being ...
News
Al Batt: What do you want, sleepyhead, worms or waffles today?
We yawn when we’re tired, bored, hungry or stressed. Theories say yawning wakes the brain, cools the brain ...
Opinion
Al Batt: Air conditioning was something we had in winter
Tales from Exit 22 by Al Batt The AC guy was out to make sure our air was ...
Opinion
Al Batt: Minn. man, Iowa man and Florida man walk into a column
Did you hear about the Iowa man who moved to Minnesota? Some of his siblings thought he was ...
Opinion
Al Batt: There are eight million stories in the naked city
Life is changed faster than underwear.
Opinion
Al Batt: Here be dragons, midges, chipped windshields and shitepokes, oh my
Someone should write a song about it.
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